The Way
The snow has melted, but the light in the heart has remained
God has taken me as a little child by the hand
And tirelessly leads out into the darkness before dawn
I do not ask where, why, how long…
Although the road seems blurry and distant
I take a closer look at my Companion,
And his cheek is calm
I believe him even when I stumble and fall
Because I am always gently lifted
We go a long way and I don't think about it anymore
There is no beginning or end
No hurry
There is only a way that becomes my home
Butterfly with Caterpillars mind
Raven
Escape
I am trying to escape
I am planning how to make myself busy
Driving to the city, having a meeting, going on a holiday, looking for another hobby, signing up for another course, watching movies
Uncertainty and discomfort are making me sick
I am trying to avoid unpleasant feeling of hating myself
I am avoiding of taking the responsibility and making a choice
I am refusing unacceptable parts of me
What do I FEAR?
Of going DEEPER
Of NOT knowing how deep the bottom is
I gave up
I gave up
On fixing myself
I got exhausted of trying hard to be needed and accepted
Tired of repairing myself as a broken and unwanted thing
I gave up on
Looking for approval and earning love
Making myself better and nicer
I gave up
On all my life’s work
It broke my heart
And I became groundless
Overwhelmed with sadness and grief
And self-destructive thoughts
I fell into the deepest and darkest hole
Still longing and hoping to be whole
Divine Kiss
My Beloved kissed me in my dream
It was something far more than romantic or sexual
It was divine
I have never experienced such love
I fell into another reality
And woke up crying from such beauty
Longing for something similar in my human life
Shame
I fear shame more than death
Death liberates
Shame makes you a prisoner
It makes you experience thousands of deaths
Penetrates into every pore of the skin
Rolls in the stomach
And does not allow to breathe
It puts you in a corner and makes you fight
Moments
I experience immensely happy moments
Among those when I fall again into the abyss of shallowness
The eternal diamond reflects a thousand suns and
The endless dance of lovers, when two become one
And separate again
Breakdown
I am breaking into pieces
And letting them fall on the ground
I am falling apart
But I am not interfering
I am not picking up the crumbs
I will sit patiently and observe the dawn
Wounds
I put my wounds on altar sacredly
And kneeling down I bow to them reverently
Every scar, every bruise, every pain of mine I embrace gratefully
For they have taught me all I need:
Modesty, simplicity, and beauty of smallness
Greatness, courage, and resilience
Paradox of Love
Secret of Death
Poetry of Life
I am not the One
I am not the One
I wish I was
But I am not
I want to be Special
But my heart is full of fear and attachments
My vision is unclear
My mind is spinning
Looking for recognition
I do not travel unknown paths
I stick to safety…
KraKraKra – Crow is laughng – sitting on my chimney
Mystery
She called me: Mystery!
I almost jumped and hoped I misheard
I pretended I was busy
I went back to sleep
I tried to forget and went shopping
But my heart pounded and blood rushed to the head
I got dizzy
I cried: No, no, no…
I am Noname, I am nothing special, It’s all too big for me!
And She said: gather your courage and surrender.
You have heard the Call. Yes is all there is.
Wildflower
As delicate and fragile as a spring flower
It sprouts from the ground
Still in the winter frost
I'm afraid even to breathe or touch it
Its innocence is so wonderful
I have never seen such a species
But I know it grows only in freedom and in the wild
So I will sit quietly next to it
and watch its sacred flourishing and blooming
When Death comes
When Death comes
She tells you a secret which is not a secret:
“There is so much Love behind that Door”
You can barely hold it
You are scared of it as if it was Death
It is overwhelming, you can’t look at it for long, it can make you blind
You can lose yourself in it, you can make fool of yourself and behave silly
You don’t know what to do with it, how to live with it, how to be this vulnerable
It changes everything you know
Your mind is like a spinning wheel
Trying to put this in order
But there is no
It is warning you and making alert:
“You are in a Great, Great Danger!
It will not last long, it will make you miserable!
This is not a fairytale with a happy ending!”
And you breathe deeply as you are shaking and shivering
Leaning against that door behind you
Oh, it is closed! There is no way back
And you breath deeply to gain courage for this unsafe journey
And make your first shaky steps as a baby scared to fall
In this totally unknown, vast World
But you are curious. You have heard the Call, the Invitation
It is welcoming you softly and tenderly singing old forgotten love song for your Soul
You are in love
Love is all there is
Moonlight
When the moonlight calls
To leave my warm bed and follow
Into the fog
To spend another night under the raven sky
I go
My Soul is in a hurry
My Soul is in a hurry
She knows the Truth I cannot grasp
I’ve been pushed and I’ve been pulled
Fed to the vultures and healed
The Mystery is insistent
I am chosen
To face my depths and share my heights
I take it all to be born again
Death and Love
When Death came I was so weak and vulnerable I couldn't resist it
It swallowed me and took me deep underground
Where I met my Darkness
And began the journey of Mystery
When Love came I was so strong and vulnerable I could receive it
It swallowed me and took me deep underground
Where I met my Darkness again
And began the journey of my Soul
Nick Mulvey | Moment of Surrender
She Dragon
There is a dragon inside me
I cannot name it
There is a dragon inside me
I cannot tame it
She spits fires
And tremendous desire arises
To burn everything down
In the sacred flames
As a volcanic eruption
Comes destruction
I crawl and howl powerless
Struggling to collapse
And with last breath in convulsions
I surrender and dissolve
In the orgasmic cosmic love
At ease, at peace
In rebirthing Pain and Pleasure
In Truth
