I was longing for you so deeply and unbearably for so many years

That it left a huge hole of loneliness in my body

As unhealed wound it opened time to time

Until I managed not to feel it.. almost

I always knew it was there

As a dark, terrifying tumour

I tried different remedies... that helped

I got other wounds and I didn’t have to feel this one

I hid, I escaped, I harmed myself and hurt others

Until one day I had my own children

Until one day I was brave enough to put my finger in that hole

I howled, I crawled, I wept, and I cried

The hole got bigger as if wanting to suck me in

I felt the convulsions as giving birth to pain and let them consume me

I was dying... I wasn’t sure I could take it much longer... and I begged for help

Then the Sea took the swelling away from my face and cooled me down

The Wind gently caressed my naked body

The Sun kissed and warmed up my skin

And my mother said in WhatsApp – everything is all right, don’t you worry, we love you

And then I remembered how wonderful Mother I have

Always caring and supporting unconditionally

Seeing only that hole from a childhood

I stopped noticing how beautiful and loving she was later… and now

I wish I was like my mother

With such an open and loving heart

I am so sorry

I love you, mom

I have received so much from you

Thank you

And painful tears began to wash away that Old Story…